As a learner I seek praise so much! Kohn describes learners that seek validation from others “praise junkies”. This is something that I identify with. More often than not, my evaluation of self does not even come from myself, but I am making an effort to unlearn being a “praise junky". And even then, I am praised when I express my desire to want to unlearn this dependance on praise. So I need interrogate why I really want to unlearn this - or maybe it is better phrased as learning how to affirm my own worth without the influence of other people. Should I accept the praise of someone when they say “It’s fantastic that you are focusing on praising yourself.” I think that it would be okay to do so, because I should not be totally rejecting what others say but my motivation to continue doing so needs to come from myself. I think that as someone in music and the arts, so much of our self worth comes externally and it is something many artists focus on unlearning at some point in their journey, artistic journey or not. In music there is not one right way to approach “musicking" (in most contexts). A former teacher always reminded me that two musicians could be put in a room and come out with 10 different interpretations. But too often in my musical journey, the moment I heard “good job” after playing through a passage or piece I would not explore any other musical ideas. It has been so limiting, why would I experiment when I could hear “good job” again? Our musical interpretations and ideas come from us, so when we hear those things being validated, I think it that is what makes artists more dependant on praise As someone who engages with others, I have internalized that idea that I need to hear praise from others so, that I had unconsciously been trying to use praise or an acknowledgement of someone else’s “good” work that prioritized my own thoughts and feelings first. This is also a work in progress! Why does every positive comment I make about someone else need to start with “I liked…”? I have grown up to believe that this was the most “best” way to acknowledge someone else or their work but that should not a cycle I continue. I really resonate with Kohn’s suggestion to “Talk less, ask more.” I think about why it might resonate with me the most out of his three suggestions because it is something that has always made me feel recognized. For example, in my lessons whether I had played something well or not, the questions that followed showed that my teacher had listened to what I played, but also valued my analysis of what I played.